I loved you wholeheartedly and with every piece of me; if you ever wake up and think that I am not somewhere in this little blue planet searching my mind for the mention of your name or the image of your face then you must know there is something wrong with the cosmos that day, because every hour that goes past that is what I'm doing. I know the only way to stop myself hurting is to pretend I don't love you any more, which is what I have been trying to do ever since and that night I almost walked out on you I thought I had achieved the greatest of deceptions; I'd fooled myself that you meant anything to me. Then your nose started to bleed. I didn't have to question what was happening or why; I knew this happened to you all the time. I knew. I knew I hadn't really fooled anyone. I love the way you smell differently in the morning when you've been asleep. I love how you're not neat around the edges and you always look a bit dishevelled and lopsided in a wonderful way. I love the way your mouth goes wonky when you smile. Whenever I think back to before, I picture it like a film: we woke up together in the duvet with the sun peeking into our warm sleeping den and we spoke about words and poetry and sang songs and danced whilst lying down, all until something commanded that we must leave our little sanctuary. We could lie for hours and pull faces at eachother, occasionally reminding one another that the human being we were sharing those precious seconds with was the most wondrous of all creatures. I am so happy it happened. I have learned from you and from loving you. I do not regret any hour spent basking in your presence. I am sad now because my movie has finished; you are not the same wondrous creature who spent with me a whole night wide eyed in a car, in a small road, enjoying the possibilities of youth. "All the World's a stage, and all the men and women merely players"; I have never believed in this quote so strongly - you played a spectacular role in the most perfect of plays. Only playing however. I miss believing in you. You will most likely never read this or know this is how I felt at this particular time, or know the impact you have had on my life. I will never fail to be amazed at how a human being is so moved by another; moved to tears, moved to laughter, anger, murder - great art, literature and drama have all been created due to such things. I do believe in my love for you. Someone once said the best love is the kind that weakens the soul; you weakened mine and I will love you every day of my life for that very fact, you beautiful, beautiful being.